Getting old and no children
My partner and I have been together for a long time and we both are at our early 40s. We decided to not have kids and we both are happy with our decision as of now. However, our family and friends are saying that we will regret our decision in a few years as we get older. Sometimes i feel like they might be right and I freak out! What if we regret not having children later? If you don’t have kids, are you regretting it? What would you do if you feel lonely later? Please share your honest opinion about childfree life.
Same boat. But these days feel like having kids.
Your family is right. Here we’re programmed that kids are a chore and unnecessary expense and a time sink. And to focus on money and “fun”. The truth is that kids bring joy and add meaning to life. Even seeing your child experiencing or learning something simple will bring you great happiness. Yes it comes with stress, but so does anything worth having. Unfortunately most people realize this when it’s too late
Are you trying to say that the hedonistic lifestyle pushed on us from Instagram is not the way to go? Isn’t owning more 💩 better?
I don't think any one life path is the "truth" in terms of kids. A lot of couples have no desire to have kids and have lived meaningful and peaceful lives. A lot of parents deeply regret having kids and wish they can go back to the lifestyle prior to kids. Many women have trauma over their pregnancy experience. And the list goes on. The way you talk in absolutes shows how sheltered and inconsiderate you are of other lifestyles.
Don’t have kids. Never gave it a second thought.
Why do you need your spouse? Good company, feel safe. Well! A child is amazing company and makes you feel safe. Why do you not want a child? Responsibility, costs etc...Now, do you find working on something you love, tiring or energizing? Child isn't necessary if you found something to do that really energizes you and will do so for life. But if you not have a child because of some fad in the culture or television about freedom or costs or responsibolity, you are sure to regret it.
Honestly, if you don’t want kids right now or when you were younger, you won’t want kids later
Don’t think this is true. People change a lot as they age
I beg to differ. I know plenty of people who regretted having kids. Many people won’t admit or mention for societal retaliation and whatnot, but it’s more common than you would think and that’s with couples who thought they wanted kids. Those who want kids do go to great lengths and spend a lot of time and money if they can’t conceive, but those who aren’t sure shouldn’t be pressured to have kids just because… Adoption is an alternative great choice for the western world where it’s widely accepted and you won’t have to worry as much about age. If the OP is asking for or against it’s in the best interest of everyone that you advise the path of least resistance and damage. You’re going to say the final decision is their choice anyway…
Too late to ask. So don’t ask.
Get a dog
A great alternative to having a child. (western cringe ideas)
Furbabies yo
No kids , in my early 40’s and don’t regret it because kids are not an item that one create to give you entertainment in your old age. Plus my parents had me and I live in US and they live in india and I get to see them only once in a year. I am not a source of joy to them in their old age like your friends think. Society is programmed to make us feel that we need to follow a set of rules/ predated in the box formula to be happy. Most people at a certain age feel that they should want to have kids because society makes them feel that they have done a mistake by choosing otherwise or having gone against the norm.
Society does not. Evolution does. Sex is a great activity because it leads to a child. Procreation is by design enjoyable because that's required for survival of the organism.
Op did not say evolution is questioning his decision making skills. Society is asking him to/ her to procreate. Sex is great even if it does not lead to a child. Procreation currently is not a reason for the survival of earth - a whole different argument in itself.
This is a serious and irreversible decision (in any direction). You need to be crystal clear that you don’t want kids. The fact that you are letting others freak out, tells me you are not clear about your reasons. It’s time to reevaluate and act fast if that’s the case.
We are in late 30s and in the same boat.