Bias in wealth - gf from China
I just broke up with my girlfriend of 1 and a half years. However, for the past few months, it feels more like hell rather than fun. I’ve a Masters in Comp Sci, I come from a middle class family, and I have been only working in startups. Currently job seeking My gf is from a different nationality(her family is conservative), and they’re wealthy. Anyone else face a situation where they had someone they’re dating from a richer family, interface and had to break up because of the above 2 factors. POV: I understand her wanting to go back from the US and she’s from China, because of her family wealth. But it feels horrible knowing that I can secure a job soon, probably give her a good life. But no matter the love or this expectation. She’s already booked her ticket back to China. I feel horrible and in the dumps cause of my background wealth. I don’t want to blame my parents or my background. But anyone else face a similar situation? How did you guys handle the breakup or how do I not make a mistake for my next gf who might be in the similar family situation? (on either side)
Sorry about the breakup but you can’t worry about factors outside your control. You’ll get through this.
She has a life set in china. Large inheritance, can start a business, do whatever she wants. Here, she will have to depend on you financially, struggle in her own career, etc. She picked the lifestyle she liked. Find someone similar to you.
Your values will be different if your wealth background is completely different. Either you will have to assimilate with her values, or she will have to assimilate with yours. If this doesn't happen in the long run, the relationship is unlikely to work out anyway. So take this as a blessing in disguise. If you like those types of girls, you'll need to learn what makes them tick. 1. She doesn't need you to provide for her. She needs you to have a decent job so her family doesn't shit on her when she talks about you. It's a cultural thing. Parents and familial background, while important, matter less. 2. Visa situation. Most overseas Chinese girls live here on a student visa or OPT if they're working which buys a few years. The chances of winning the h1b lottery is abysmally low so it's either marriage or invest 500k in a business on a different visa. If she senses you're not thinking about marriage, she won't want to deal with the emotional hit she knows is coming. Solution? 1. Get a 100k+ job. Should be easy for comp sci grads. 2. If you're ready to commit, marry her and give her residency. 3. If you're not ready, only date girls that already have h1b status.
I think I like this approach. It’s hard to get through this. With this market, the first solution is so hard. But possible. I am myself on a visa, so that’s a bit hard. I am definitely not ready, so I will date girls who’s are working for sure. But just in case I’m ready, shouldn’t girls on H1B still be the requirement? I think girls on OPT visa, are either ways not figuring out whether to move to the states. They’re definitely thinking of moving back eventually, which I’m ok with. But I guess it’s a bigger commitment for the longer run. I just think the older I get, how do I find people on OPT, when I’m just too old or am I overthinking this?
If you're ready, it doesn't matter what status they have as long as they're the right person for you. Assuming you have status. If not, it may be worth getting residency in Canada first. It should be much easier for international students to get residency in Canada