Here are the things I do when I get depressed
I think I am going to have another episode. How should i cope? (Dont ask me to talk to a therapist/wife because I have embraced toxic masculinity and I prefer to keep my problem to myself) 1. listen to sad music (and get more depressed) 2. Shitpost in Blind 3. Pick up arguments with wife over trivial issues 4. Drive away randomly (but trigger wife’s suspicion that i am going to meet “someone”; or get into roadrage) 5. Hit gym and workout listening to rage music (i did this only once… hard to get my ass to gym when depressed) 6. Alcohol 7. Watch porn
None of what you listed is toxic masculinity, it's straight degeneracy. Don't listen to sad music Blind is fine sure in moderation not including this shitpost Why pick on your wife Driving away randomly is fine #5 is the best solution but looks like it's ignored No, just no NO, NO, NO bad
He does not say he is listing signs of his toxic masculinity. He just mentioned he has it. Also, how is driving safe for him and others on the road?
If these are the only options, you are not giving yourself a fighting chance. Anyways, go for 5
OP....1,2,5,7 seems safe. It's not helping you come out of it, but at least it's not harming yourself and others in any way. A better option, 1. Listen to audible, anything you are interested in... fiction, nonfiction, self development books, etc. 2. Watch stands up comedy videos. 3. Watch comedy series or movies. 4. Listen to motivational speakers or spiritual speakers. This might take trial and error to see with whom you resonate and who can keep you interested in going back to listen to them again and again. 5. Clean.... literally clean your house, desk, closet, shoe rack, bathroom, car, anything... really. All of this helped me... it's still helping me! You might find something different that works only for you. Keep trying. You will be able to come up with your own coping mechanisms.
Suggested optimization: 5, 7 and then sleep.
Avoid #3, 6 and 7. Make Love to your wife often. If you can't perform well doing that, do #5 2-3 times and try again.
Thanks guys. Actually I did not put an item on the list 8. Tell strangers on Blind that u r not in a good mental space and be vulnerable And this is what worked. I did listen to some music last night - Hero by Mariah carey, unwell by matchbox 20, fix you - cold play. Stayed away from ghazal Cudnt have gone to gym coz it was 9pm already Thanks guys 🙏🏼
Go to place of worship and volunteer. It helps. Get a dog. And commit to helping it well even when you are not depressed. Learn to tell your wife - I'm going through an episode. I need help. Can you help me? -- instead of picking a fight
To correct u on cpl of points - 1. I dont pick fight with wife when I am depressed with purpose. Its more like when I am depressed I project negativity on to others and I am generally irritable. Invariably an argument happens. That is what I was referring to 2. I do talk to my wife. But beyond certain ppint it is counterproductive. She does not see my point of view with the same intensity as I do. And when she does see it, I iust pull her into my abyss of negativity- which really does not help, does it. So these days I just keep it to myself. Sarcastically, that is what i was referring to as my toxic masculinity- to hide my true feelings and put on a facade of normalcy
1. Listen to sad music
Very cathartic, right?
Yes. This is the right answer. My personal favorite is screaming and crying in the car. But I am a woman 😃