My girlfriend (soon to be wife) just confessed she’s lived with her ex for 3 years before she started dating me. I’m more upset about the fact that she’s hid this from me all along than her living with her ex in the past. I’m starting to re-think marrying her. Am I overthinking?
What was her reason of hiding it?
She knew i would not be happy with it
Assuming you knew of her ex-bf does it actually bother you? If it really matters to you, end the relationship. Sounds like she has anxious attachment style.
If past didn't matter then why did she have to hide. These girls are just hilarious and fairly astute to just wait for the guy to fall for her before disclosing such details. She knew what she was doing.
Uncomfortable? End it. What else is she going to be scared about telling you down the line?
It's not a big deal. What she did with her ex should be left behind in that relationship. She's not obligated to let you know. It's private between two adults and doesn't have to be told to other people including future partners. But if you can't handle it, leave. It's not about right and wrong.
Seems there was an expectation from OP's side to know, though. If that was known to the girl, she should have shared this sooner or broken off earlier. History matters to some people, and can be deal breakers for them. I don't think it is a universally true statement that one's history is so private that one cannot even reveal whether one had a history or not, to a future partner. That would be lying and morally wrong. Here, the girl revealed after 2 years and on the brink of formalizing her marriage, that she lived together with her ex-partner. If it wasn't a big deal to her, why did she withhold this information for so long? I don't think this is just about OP not being able to handle information here, it is also about breakage of trust.
“What she did with her ex should be left behind in that relationship” Manipulation tactics by women are hilarious lol. OP don’t get gaslighted by this 304. Her past definitely matters
Why did she share this with you now? Ask her. What if your next girlfriend hides this information forever? You should be fine, as you will never know. By the way, do you share everything with her? For example, about posting this in blind. What if she finds this later, and it's a big deal for her? If you are not mature enough, it's better to leave her. She deserves someone better.
i’m posting on blind instead of asking around to protect her. In my opinion, posting an anonymous post is more mature than blabbering around
What ‘bdkd31’ is trying to say is, you can cheat on your gf. What if her next bf also cheats on her and hides this information forever? She should be fine, as she will never know.
What did you think? That she was homeless before? I don't understand what is there to confess
Not every couple lives together. Sounds more like marriage than dating
@Giggle, would you be ok if you find out that your bf/husband had sex with multiple women about which he lied to you? I mean, I don’t understand what is there to confess in this case as people have sex all the time, right?
Disrespectful of her to hide it just because you wouldn’t like it. End it. Unacceptable.
What else she hasn't told you🤔
She thought you were high value and projected a picture that was necessary to trap you. She also know femcels like SAP below will come out and defend for her by gaslighting men's self-respect and preferences. Win-win all around!
You moron they have been in relationship since last two years. If that was her goal, she would have done after the marriage or even get pregnant. You clearly don’t know what real trapping is. The reason is she clearly lacks self confidence or was under society pressure or was just scared to loose OP. And everyone including the so called “femcels” are advising him to breakup.
She is in a relationship for 2 years with him and wants to marry. She lived with her ex for 3 years un-married. I know you’re a woman but you’re not that stupid right? Her ex is the guy she actually likes, this guy is just the backup and he can sense that because she is obviously hiding things from him. She waited until he was emotionally involved to trauma dump this, who knows what else she is hiding that she will reveal after marriage? OP is already having second thoughts about her trust that will only grow in resentment over time. Take note ladies: men can always tell, there is always a feeling in the back of our minds. No matter how good you think you are pretending the truth will always come out. Luckily some guys find out before marriage and children
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How long did you date her. This never came up?
2 years. Found out recently
Kinda doesn’t feel right. Once you lose trust, it’s pretty much over i think. This might come up in your mind again and again