The perfect girl turned me down because I had life "Too figured out"
Sometimes I think I'm done with dating and finding a nice girl and this is one of those times. Sorry in advance for the inane rant. I met a great girl who was easy to talk to, we had a lot in common and we shared a lot of jokes and I felt like she was in my same wavelength. I really thought was the one. We've been talking for a couple of weeks and I hate to admit it, I fell too hard for her too fast. But today out of the blue she proclaims that I had stuff too figured out in life and she doesn't like that level of planning since she's just starting out on her career, and decided to break things off for no reason. I don't understand this, and I tried to explain to her that if she's going to go out with older people she's going to meet people who have more figured out especially if she's just starting her career. But in the end, I just told her if this wasn't reconcilable, it's better if we break it off. I'm really devastated and after more than a year of looking for the right girl, someone pulls out BS like this for a reason to not get with me, I'm kinda losing hope of ever finding the right one. Edit: thanks to all commenters for giving a damn. I guess I have some perspective and I can move on from this. Onward to the next crisis.
😂 typical I was broken up with for the reason “you’re practical”
I feel you man. I'm like 6'3, which is a foot over her. I mean, it was a little out of the blue for me because the conversation was great before this little epiphany she had.
@OP It appears like most women want a project to work on, something they can improve and fix. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you, it’s just the way they’re wired. Try elsewhere, for more intellectual women may be?
She’s just not that into you. That was her excuse so she didn’t look like an asshole. Move on
The reason was different . The key to make a woman want you is make yourself hard to get after the initial wavelength match
She wasn’t the right girl. Lick your wounds heal your ego and move on
Some perspective: People early in their careers are a lot more flexible with large life decisions. She may be considering moving states, countries, etc. If this is truly her reason for breaking up with you, she may feel bad asking you to move with her when you have established a life there. Especially since you are so early in meeting each other.
We'd already discussed moving and it was going to be a long term decision on both of our parts. We were both okay with keeping it long distance for a year or so until we had things figured out.
Also re-reading the post and your replies, I think it's very likely you were coming off a bit too intense for her. She may have been looking for something more casual that slowly progressed whereas you seem to have been all in a bit alarmingly quickly. I can see why that would scare someone off.
One possibility is that you were just one of her many options and the other option was physically more attractive.
OP, dont take it too hard on urself. Some girls who have not figured out their life, get scared when they meet someone who has it all figured out. Its like the chaos is scared of order. This is very common girl psychology Its for the same reason why girls from a home where her father used to physically abuse her mother, will subconsciously seek a guy just like her father and reject all the good guys. Its weird
Well you're not wrong. And it's not like I have a lot figured out either. I just have a couple of years more experience than her. It's just a little frustrating.
If what she says is true, maybe she just realized that that’s what happens when dating older people. And maybe you truly have too many choices made, in a way that she can’t integrate her life into yours without taking an unacceptable lifestyle loss. This mantra of “my partner is just the icing on the cake” has some limitations. This is one of them. Sometimes people want flexibility to build a lifestyle together, and not inhabiting a premade world.
This is kinda what she told and I think it's so... dumb. It's not like we were going to get married the following month, and I don't own any property or offer her anything more than a couple more years of experience than she has. I'm 28 and she's 26. And to think that your life is going to stay the same after you start a serious relationship is absurd, we both would have to make accommodations to let each other in.
Maybe she doesn’t want to be serious right now? Or she doesn’t see herself being serious with you
If you hadn't even met odds are she likely had better options in the pipeline and preferred them over you. She just was looking for a BS reason to get rid of you.
Do you smell? Are you ugly?
Well not that it matters since we've never even met in person. But I'm a foot taller than her (6'3) and I own deodorants.
For that height, there should be a long queue of women waiting for you. What are you doing wrong?