Is it rude to skip social events with leadership? I work at a kind of satellite location and sometimes I will have like the immediate 4 people in my direct leadership chain come to our location and invite the local team out. I appreciate the invite but they’re usually happy hour type things and I quit drinking a couple years ago and am still avoiding drink focused events. I’m also a parent and pretty busy at home so it doesn’t hurt my feelings to skip out. I’m glad the team is going out.
I don’t think anyone in your leadership chain cares if you don’t go out, but if you care, maybe suggest lunch or ordering in for everyone sometime so that “everyone can join”.
Yeah makes sense. I never thought much about skipping out on things but I’m on smaller team now so makes me more conscious of it
It’s not rude, but people do use these events to build relationships with their skips and leadership. It shouldn’t be this way but when looking at promotions, who to pull in for special projects, etc. people are going to gravitate towards people they know/“like” - and forming those relationships is easier in social settings. Now not everyone is good at doing this, or maybe you already have good relationships with those people, or maybe you’re happy in your role and not looking to climb - but this is the benefit you’re missing out on. This is why a lot of people don’t like these events. They are exclusionary and typically benefit a very specific type of person - but unfortunately this is one of those ‘that’s life’ kind of things. Regarding drinking. I am a drinker but I usually don’t drink at these events, I’ll just order a soda. I’m not there to drink, I’m not there for fun, I’m there to self promote.
I would disclose this to your manager in private, it’s better to be vulnerable and give them an explanation as to why you don’t want to go vs. look like the person that doesn’t show up to things. Also, doing that puts the ball in their court to arrange a different social event that doesn’t center around alcohol and includes you
Rude no, likely to set your career back, yes. These are social events and you need face time with leadership, especially when you are in a satellite location. You don’t have to drink and it’s unlikely people would expect you too. Most folks have to drive home afterwards.
Tech Industry
Yesterday
1569
Women, help me understand why this is inspirational
India
58m
159
'Hindutva': The Radical Hindu Ideology That Seeks to 'Push Christianity Out of India’
AMA
Yesterday
664
PM Manager, early 40s, married and ENM (Ethical Non Monogamous) AMA
Tech Industry
Yesterday
627
Rejected my TikTok offer. Something I’m gonna regret?
Health & Wellness
Yesterday
553
Lasik cost
Would it not help to say this exact thing to your manager. I am sure no one wants you to force drink.
No I don’t think they do at all. I just don’t want to disclose that to leadership really