Working moms with multiple kids - how is it?
Hey all! Mom here to a 19 month old, and starting to think about if adding another child to our family is the right decision. I always figured we would have multiple kids, but to be honest having one has flattened me. I adore her and I’m so happy to have her, but taking care of her while my husband and I both work demanding jobs has proven far more stressful than I imagined. I assume the stress will lessen as she gets older. In thinking through this decision, I’m trying to wrap my head around what life would be like as two working parents with two young kids. I imagine it’s hectic - is it much more so than one? What do you do for childcare? Are you glad you did it? Anything you wish you knew before? I really appreciate any and all honest advice as I am at such a loss here. It seems on Blind a lot of the people opining on kids are men with stay at home wives, which is fine but I do feel doesn’t relate as much to my situation.
Have the second kid. It’s ok if you giveaway most of your salary for help and childcare. Once they grow up you will thank yourself for pushing through and keeping a career. I am a working mom with two kids.
Im good with my current number thanks 👍
Everyone’s support system is different so I would say focus on what resources you have time or money wise. If you are struggling with one, two won’t make it easier. Wait until this one becomes easier to handle and then plan accordingly. And remember you will need to prioritize in life. Yes men with great careers have stay at home wives. So you can either choose to be okay with career plateauing or see if your partner is willing to take a career break to support yours or can you get an au pair? Do you have a big house to accommodate an au pair? Do you have family nearby to get help? Basically, I am saying focus on your resources because everyone has different ones.
We are in the bay so our house is tiny and childcare is very expensive but we do have family help. My husband DOES have a great career haha (we both do), I just have no interest in staying home personally.
Op I didn’t suggest you stay home. I suggested asking your husband if he would, for a bit, not for ever. Or take up an easier job. I am in the Bay, single mom, working full time, multiple kids, broke. It’s seriously about priorities. If you both have a great career, can you not build an adu in your backyard? Childcare is only till kids are in preschool.
Get an au pair if you have a spare bedroom. Average costing it’s about $2k with the agency fee and stipend. This is how a lot of tech dual income parents do it. I have several coworkers who have done this and heard great things about it. Otherwise a live in nanny feels very unaffordable.
They are required to be paid minimum wage now :/ So its super expensive to have them live in.
Op you can have live out nanny too. There are many arrangements. I know nannies who will prioritize your family and be flexible for you if you provide a certain number of guaranteed hours per week. But if the expense is scaring you even with good careers, then you will probably be stressed financially. And it seems like you want a second kid but it’s not a big priority. If it’s not, you can let it go and live happily.
Same age toddler boy here. You need to have a full time live in nanny if you want any life of your own. On a broader point - I’ve seen my siblings’ teenagers so I can say that toddler years and teens are two phases that are the most stressful for parents imo. The rest are not a cakewalk but a lot less stressful.
You’re probably right - expenses would need to take a hit elsewhere
1) Nanny share 2) daycare should start at 2 or sooner, this makes it easier 3) get grandparents to watch them on the weekends so you can do life stuff
One of the two parents needs a less stressful job and/or full time nanny to help. Your goal is to survive first 3-4 years, especially with two kids