My Girlfriend and I had a major argument couple days ago. After 1.5 years of dating she wants to move in and then figure out when we get engaged. I told her that I’ll be ready to move in a couple months. Pretty much she gave me an ultimatum. I told her that I want to see how it is living with each other first and then decide how we want to proceed together. She says she doesn’t want to try this game because she thinks that I’m gonna be using her and then if things don’t work out well, dump her. She told me she’s ready to get engaged already, but I told her that I need a little bit more time. And now I feel we’re at an impasse. Being in my late 30s, I don’t want to miss the boat as well. Don’t know what I should do next…any recommendations? 🙏🙏 #tech
Put your foot down and tell her what you want, either she respects your decision or she leaves
I told her that I’m not ready to discuss about this, but she still keeps pushing. What should I do?
Then get ready to discuss it
I can help you. Your gf can stay at my home.
Too soft, Google. Make it an ultimatum, that’s the language OP understands.
Statically couples often tend to separate after living together especially if both of you wfh
Get that RTO propaganda out of here. Even if that is a real study im sure it’s because they studied people who live in shoebox apartments
I’m guessing when she says you’re going to use her, means she thinks you are just using her to reduce your rent bill? If so, she has major trust issues. You need to live with each other for a good period of time and learn what works and what doesn’t before even considering marriage. What is both of your ages out of curiosity?
She means waste her time
Any suggestions?
Tip of the iceberg. If she gets what she wants by throwing tantrums and threatening separation, you will be miserable for a long long time. A healthy relationship and partnership is about making decisions together.
How is this a tantrum?! Get your misogynistic / paternalistic bullshit out of here. She’s said she very clearly what she wants and what timeline she wants it on. Her fear is very well founded and a common outcome. If OP can’t deal with that it’s kind of on them.
The bigger question here is did she make this clear early on in relationship. If not, her fault and she is throwing a tantrum
You’re still young. Live a little. Don’t let someone drag you down. Ultimatums are not ok. Don’t let her control you. You will find someone better. Women age like sour milk. Men age like fine wine. The older you are the more attractive you are to women.
The 30+ women on dating apps have so much attitude though . Even the 35+. Where to find 28 year old as a 35 man ? I want in person rather than apps as they have age filter
Amazon, the best way to do this would be through your social circle. I would start engaging in co-ed hobbies and building genuine interest in them. You could also get involved in volunteering, religious institutions/events, meetup groups, etc. Those are great places to meet good people in general.
What country are you in? This reads like an invitation to experience the hospitality of Tihar jail via BNS 69.
> Clause 69 says that if a man promises to marry a woman, but doesn’t actually intend to marry her, and still has consensual coitus with her, this will amount to a felonious offence. Jesus fuck what a crazy law. What’s going on there India.
🚩 🚩 🚩
You're in your late thirties. I assume she is also in her thirties. She's ready to have kids. If you haven't decided whether she's the one you want to marry after a year and a half, you're wasting her time. Either marry her or dump her. She doesn't have time to wait while you waffle around.
1.5 years is too short to decide something lifelong like marriage. 3 years together minimum with at least a year of cohabitation. If you prioritize the status of marriage and kids ahead of whether you and someone are actually good match you're signing yourself up for misery.
Find a girl who agrees with you on that and it's not a problem. Don't date someone who wants to get engaged before moving in. I think 3 years is too long but I know plenty of women who agree with you, so it shouldn't be hard to find. You're not making a crazy statement. Both of our opinions are fairly common and within the realm of normal. The thing is, OP's girlfriend doesn't agree with you and she let him know her expectations months ago and he wimped out on telling her his expectations. If your expectations don't align, break up! There's a hungry mouth for every peach.
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Shouldn’t she wanting to do the same? I’m sensing some red flags here