Think i’m done with my husband . Its been a long marriage and have 2 kids . Kids are not young but in middle and high school. Problem: husband is at home all day every fuckin day. Always angry, fighting with kids, fighting while driving and always in a grumpy mood. YES, i have asked him to seek therapy and also made an appointment with the therapist. He cancelled it . Instead I’m having to take meds to not loose it while with this energy drainer . He is constantly fighting with me and criticizing me . I have tons and tons of office work as i stayed home for kids and in the past few years joined the work force , so fairly junior. I am currently contracting and have no insurance . Now that i have laid out the context …. I plan to contact my lawyer and once and for all put down the divorce papers. I have very little savings but worth going all in to get rid of this horrible man after 18 years. My question: What do you recommend i do after i have put down the papers ? - leave the house and live in a hotel and come meet the kids everyday. - stay in the house and not leave and just suck it up till i reach a point where child custody has been negotiated. I am afraid that if i stay in the house he will convince me to withdraw papers by scaring me about the divorce and the complicated process it is and about post divorce life without medical insurance and the luxuries i have in form of the house and life. Also worry that i may become complacent and not continue this battle. It will be helpful to get some advice from someone on this . Someone who may have undergone this process. Help!
Try to minimize the disruption to your kids, especially the high school one for whom it might alter academic performance trajectory, college admissions, and future. But also the younger one since stress during adolescence might impact future. Maybe seek counseling on how to best navigate it in least traumatic way. Some kids might not care but some might be sensitive.
Kids are suffering now …. Im trying to free them from the suffering . Imagine waking up to yelling pretty much everyday .
Bummer. Conflicting partner is a big drag on everyone. The saddest thing is often times they do the right things, but negative attitude and not being able to shut up poisons the well. 😒
Leave the man and live your life. You live only once. Don't care about him or society. Kids will adjust. You can be free in a year
Thanks thats encouraging to hear . Im concerned about living alone and managing finances and medical insurance. But also about the next few days and the right steps to take . I certainly dont want to change my mind . I just hope the universe gives me a sustained release form of strength . 🙏🏼
Marry me. I am in same boat like you. May be we can meet the ends together, if you are telling truth that it is husband problem mostly. I want peace, help and appreciation each other. I am tired of toxic life, no love no romance no care. We can have 4 kids together as I believe my kids will like to live with me as they are also learning toxin.
🫡🍻 it's like you're thinking to leave a company and another company is ready to hire you No wonders people switch jobs every few yrs
What does “kids learning toxin” mean ?
Family court will always look at what is in the best interest of the children involved. They will look for the path that leads to the least disruptions to their lives If your ex is not abusive to the kids and is not doing anything questionable or illegal and keeps the current home, he could likely end up with more time in the custody battle that will follow the divorce. This could result in you paying him child support. If the home is owned or mortgaged to both of you, moving out before its all finalized could mean forfeiture of any equity in the home to him. Just some food for thought. Sorry to hear about your situation.
Divorce laws vary by state. Which state do you live in? My two cents- 1. Unless you think there is a threat to your or your children’s safety, do not leave the house and your kids. 2. See point no. 1 3. Don’t worry about insurance or your luxurious future, etc. you’ll be able to figure it all out. 4. Talk to your friend(s) or close family or your own therapist so that you’re not in this alone
Shelter in place. https://www.avvo.com/legal-answers/if-i-move-out-of-the-marital-home-prior-to-divorce-3598944.html
Thank you for sharing the link
About climb same boat, same situation, long term marriage. worried about the same -move out or stick within the same home, even after sending notice (until final agreement) In my case spouse is verbally abusive. Throws food. Litters at whim etc. bad but leaving kids to their mercy is worse