The entire experience haunts me so much it affects in my current job. I was lucky to get hired in such a short time. I never used to be this bad at stress and anxiety. I was a better and confident engineer before Amazon. Now it feels like I am below a new grad engineer. I have knowledge and experience but these random flashback, stress and anxiety is making me fear of getting fired at current job someday. I could easily do my personal projects, leetcode and system designs. But when it comes to office laptop and working with peers and talking to manager, I am probably an unconfident below new grad level bad hire. SDE2, Expedia, Seattle, TC 200K #amazon #pip #trauma #mentalhealth #swe #software #engineering
Have backbone
Don't think about it. PIP has nothing to do with your engineering ability. So just be confident and do whatever you want.
OP, you are in a great company now. Expedia is nothing like Amazon and is known to treat their employees well.
They just needed someone to throw under the bus to fulfill the URA quota. Don't look back, go forward with your current team. Someday Amazon will fall for their evil practice of harassing, bullying and humiliating people on Devplan so they will quit on their own without severance. This is why I keep telling people on Devplan to stay strong and make them pay to get rid of you.
Does your company have Lyra? I think it would be very beneficial to chat with a therapist.
I’d recommend talking to your doctor or therapist for counseling. Do not underestimate your emotional struggles... you will be surprised to find how many amazonians are going in for counseling to stay sane...
Wow does Amazon have annual layoffs like cisco ?
There are no official layoffs. However there are forced PIP targets. The targets have been higher in 2020.
I’m sorry. I felt that way after doing a PhD with a cruel advisor who destroyed my self esteem, it damaged me mentally. You should look into treatments for trauma or complex ptsd. I’m sorry people are being dismissive of your problems but they are very real
Hey, can I DM you? Wanted to talk in private about choosing any PhD advisors?
Feel free to do so.
Don't worry, things happen. Finding a good match is the key. It may take sometime. I jumped from 65k to 400+ in a year.
Wtf happened to you bro. Story time ?
I am sorry. I am embarrassed to talk about it and also risk being identified on blind.