How to learn spending money?
I am a conscious spender. I would almost never pay full price or more than reasonable price on anything. I do research on every item before buying and always get the best deal I can(with consideration of cost of time and value gained). I do not buy unnecessary luxurious stuff and do not enjoy owning them. I am not pressured by my peers who chases after name brands in vain. When suitable, I buy second hand product and pick up free stuff on OfferUp. I enjoy using those free items creatively and not wasting them. The unique part is, it does not take much effort for me to live in this life style. I am a natural saver. With this frugality, we also have a middle six figure family annual income and solid assets. Savings and investments are readily arranged. Debts free except a small mortgage. To the opposite of most millennials, I am living significantly below my means. The things I enjoy the most cost not that much. The beauty of nature, outdoor adventures, reading, music, art and documentry, etc. Traveling/vacation is expensive. But I also saved a lot on the way by carefully planning it using credit card rewards and benefits, Priceline etc. It is great knowing myself has not been trapped by modern consumerism. However, I sometimes doubt did I miss anything by living with such frugality? Should I start splurge a bit to see what did I miss "on the next level"? I sometimes surprised how people spend so much money on their daily life and on their vacations. When I have a choice to spend on, say, a diving trip or a ski trip, I can not let go the silent calculation and planning in my head to optimize the cost and ended up did not spend that much again ( and arguably, compromised the experience). For people who may have experience on both worlds, or who are savvy at spending money, or have been in my similar situation, could you share your journey? How did you explore to spend more money in a meaningful way? How to grow out of the "natural saver" mode? #personalfinance
I remember when I went w/ my broke ass friend to a designer snicker shop. He was assigned his own ass kisser and spent 700$ on a ridiculous pair he ended only wearing 2x in the last 7 years because 3 days later he realized he hated the color but never took them back because he thought they would think he's poor. Man I never felt more like a begger in my entire life in that store. Not only they were judging me w/ contempt but somehow I felt they wanted me to pay for every breath of air I took in that store. Point is don't bother. You'll hate the process and hate yourself for doing so after the fact. You're ok, buy more assets instead.
You are not missing anything..continue doing this and achieve FIRE
What are your long term financial goals? What type of lifestyle do you enjoy? What lifestyle do you think you might want 5, 10, 20+ years from now? It is OK to be a saver. I’m a saver. It has enabled me to pay cash for cars, 30% downpayment on house, and have a comfortable emergency fund. Plus, I have a nice investment portfolio. I do love traveling. I also enjoy good wine and food. Yes, they are expensive, but I enjoy in moderation. Depending upon your total assets, you may want to meet with a wealth manager.
I’m a natural saver and my wife is a natural spender. Neither one of us are extreme. For example, I just bought some really nice gaming monitors - but it’s my first big purchase for myself in probably 6 months. My wife spends freely but thankfully nothing huge. For example, if she is out and about and hungry, maybe she’ll grab a package of nuts from a gas station or something. I’m more of the mindset that I’ll be home in an hour, and I’ll wait. Don’t overcorrect, but the thing that helped us the most was budgeting. Pick a certain amount that is more than reasonable to spend every month. For us, this limited my wife, and it pushed me. It was permission to spend, in a way. Take that budget and try to keep using it. We use mint with rollover budget, so it can start to pile up, but don’t let it get wild. That’s why I ended up with nice new monitors. My old ones were fine, but they were ten years old, and I had the budget. See what works for you, but my advice is to give yourself specific permission. Pick a number. Then you can save, but still feel good splurging and realize when you kinda should.
My lessons learned - spend a ton of time to save money in bigger transactions like cars, house, vacations etc where you spend more than 5k. Even a 5% savings save a lot. Don’t waste your time trying to save money on smaller things like 10$ web cam, 20$ paper towels or 100$ monitor. Even if you save 10% on those a 100 of those mean nothing in long term based on the time you spent saving that money. Instead spend that time to invest in yourself or something else.
OP, your description about yourself is really close to how I'd describe myself. After a few years of travel, I feel that I compromised a little too much on experiences to save money. But no big regrets. Spending is not a means to happiness always, too. So, start with things you know you'll enjoy. I started by taking my parents on a luxury trip to NYC. And buying them a large TV. And then I bought my wife an expensive pan set for a couple thousand dollars. These retain their 'value' either because of fond memories or daily usage. Finally, we should hook up. I wanted friends who are as thrifty as me. :-D Most people around me are brand conscious or want "luxury" in everything... The most luxury I have and care for is the 4-ply TP that I bought on sale from Daegers.
You do not have the problem of spending, as do many others, so your brain reshapes the absence of a problem, into a problem itself. Basically, why are you TRYING to create a problem when you have been blessed by not having one?
Perfect example of “grass is greener on the other side”