I recently had an interesting conversation with my therapist, and I'd love to hear your thoughts. For context, I've typically dated caucasian men, but lately I've been trying to branch out and date men from different backgrounds. However, I've had some off-putting experiences (overly aggressive physically) with Indian men specifically. During our last session, my therapist suggested that I should stop dating Indian men because, in her experience, they tend to be emotionally unavailable. I was a bit surprised by this advice, as it feels like a sweeping generalization. 1. **Have any of you received similar advice from a therapist or a counselor?** 2. **What are your thoughts on therapists offering such generalizations?** 3. **How would you handle this kind of advice?** Looking forward to hearing your perspectives.
It’s good advice. Generally Indian men will dump you in favor of pleasing their family and parents by marrying a nice Indian girl. Is it a sweeping generalization? Yes. It’s a cultural generalization, and there’s nothing wrong with criticizing culture. You seem to be confused about this, for some reason thinking it’s “not ok” to apply basic discernment.
I know that’s the generalization but one Indian guy I dated took me on vacation with his parents, who were very welcoming. However, as soon as a conflict arose, said guy essentially bolted. I am confused how an entire country of men can be so reliably emotionally unavailable that a professional would give this advice.
What is so confusing about accepting their culture is different than yours? Not every culture is as open minded as you are. How do you not see it as naive to assume an entire foreign country abides by your own preferences? You have eyes, use them. How many Indian men marrying non-Indian women have you seen? I’ve lived here for 15 years in Seattle and seen so close to zero, I have to strain to recall any. What I’m hearing from your post is you assume it’s good to not make assumptions about others, and are shocked your therapist, someone who’s supposed to hold a position of high ethical standards, would say such a thing. Please, take it as a hint your beliefs are wrong and causing confusion. For your own sake you need to be comfortable accepting that people from cultures different than yours are different than you. Open mindedness to the point of naivety is not a moral virtue, it’s a character flaw. You have a character flaw. Not a moral virtue. Naivety is not a virtue, it’s a character flaw. I’m not trying to be mean, I’m just trying to help you pinpoint some of your confusion, for your own sake. I feel like I really have to spell this out for you, so please pardon my repetition. Generalizations are useful tools. It’s called discernment. If you treat everyone like a blank slate you will get burned. Please practice some discernment.
What race are you?
What do you mean by physically aggressive? That’s not ok regardless of ethnicity
I'm guessing it was kinda like this https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NyB_zV5poiI&pp=ygUja29yZWFuIGluZmx1ZW54ZXIgaGFyYXNzZWQgaW4gaW5kaWE%3D
The general theme was horny af and dominant. I agree not ok regardless of ethnicity. They would back off for the most part but gave me the sense that their sexual experience was primarily with a computer (despite being gainfully employed and seeming dateable?)
Your therapist is right, Indian men are the worst, avoid at all costs.
Isn’t this app enough evidence of it? I was warned the same by female friends too, at the end they will always go for a virgin 18yo bride selected by their parents overseas. It’s similar for middle Eastern men too.
There are no virgin brides for them there either. Women play their own games before finding the Indian $$$ men.
is your therapist an indian woman? i am not indian, but i think i this generalization is hilarious because most men are emotionally unavailable in general. not just a specific race lol
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+ these too: [Blind] Check out this post! What would you do? (Adult Life) https://www.teamblind.com/us/s/Re82qTSf [Blind] Check out this post! Which side boob is more prestigious? (Adult Life) https://www.teamblind.com/us/s/SPYZDtcZ
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Most Indian men are probably holding out for whoever their parents are arranging for them, back home. Most of your encounters are probably with men who have no interest in pursuing a long term relationship are just looking for "bragging" rights. Having said that I wouldn't generalize, but maybe wary I guess. I am curious though, have you not had overly aggressive experiences with Caucasian men? Trying to understand if you find Indian men that way due to a cultural difference.
A *lot* less common - maybe one guy was a little pushy