SF Bay Area seems very racist to black people. Should I leave?
I’m black and gay and the Bay Area experience has been really isolating. My black friends have all left to NY or Austin. Asian landlords in SF are really nice on phone but when they see that I’m black, their demeanor changes and they say something like oh the unit is not available or they ghost me when I follow up. Apparently older Asians hate black people because black people are the main perpetrators of Asian hate crime which is because of the way Asians treat black people and then the vicious cycle continues. But I actually really love Asians, so why am I being judged for something that I have nothing to do with? I eventually got an apartment in one of those luxury SoMa places because well you deal with management not individuals. I’m fairly attractive but get no traction here. White gays are super racist. Actually worse than the racist republicans because at least those ones don’t hide behind fake wokeness. They wear BLM T-shirts but say stuff like no rice, no beans and say they are not racist, it’s just their preference. Asian gays are less racist but prefer white people in the dating scene . Meanwhile in Atlanta and NY, I had sex 2 days in a row when I visited for a week. My first teammates were the worst. They’d invite everyone to lunch except me. It was so bad that they’d go to every team members desk and ask them if they wanted to go to lunch and skip me. They would have karaoke nights and I had to find out from an intern. My second team was more white, middle eastern and Indian and the rest East Asian and they are much more friendly and invited me everywhere. Still I go days without seeing black people. When I visit cities like NYC and Atlanta, it so refreshing to see people that look like me meanwhile it’s just normalcy in these places. I’ve wanted to move for the past 2 years but I’ve been so worried about job mobility. What if I wanted to move to Netflix or some startup. What then? They don’t have offices in NYC or if they do, only like a few teams. Question, Should I move out and not look back or should I find a community here like in Oakland? TC : $400k YOE : 4
Oakland
I dont have any inputs on isolation and social life. it must be really hard. Your TC is really high. I doubt you can make this TC anywhere else. Stay for a few more years, save and retire wherever you want to. I personally think making sacrifices when young is worth it and you can set yourself for life.
Oakland is good. I’d actually move to DMV area, NY, or Georgia if I were in your shoes. Lot of tech companies are opening up new offices in Virginia too.
Your second team is your answer - proof that there are some people who will like you no matter what. You cannot run away from problems - unfortunately you face racism on daily basis that’s just a reality but you need to stick it out. You need only 1 white, black , Asian , Indian or any other race man or woman to make friends with. You will find that someone.
“Black people are the main perpetrators of Asian hate crime which is because of the way Asians treat black people”. LOL cant believe you say this. Never seen no asian rob kill black people
I think it’s a catch 22 because old Asians discriminate against black people at Asian owned businesses but not sure. Regardless fuck those black people that do that, it’s hypocritical to attack any race when you’ve been historically marginalized yourself.
JPMorgan should probably read up on LA riots
“republicans because at least those ones don’t hide behind fake wokeness”. Yep :( Also if I was going to rob someone on the street, old Asian people would be my target too unfortunately.
I can relate OP. I live in the Bay area and it can be isolating as my family and black friends are on the East coast, in LA, overseas. I sometimes forget am the only black woman in the gym, on the street, in the grocery store, you name it. Today was the first time I saw another black woman at the gym. I was advised to head to Oakland but I really like living in the central part of the city. Am staying in the city for now. DM if you ever wanna chat.
Nothing is worth your mental health. Move where you think you'll be the happiest. SF and NY have comparable TCs. So I doubt you'll take a big hit money wise too. Either way, I'm sorry this is happening to you. Take care of yourself and don't let racist assholes affect you. Good luck with everything.
I'm big opponent of today's ideological war in the US but I felt genuinely sad reading your post, OP. I think whole wokeness/BLM shit is destroying your country and is making black people unhappier. If I were you I'd move to a place where you feel welcomed. Life is too short to be unhappy. PS. I'm white dude but I grew up in the society which was truly equal.
Dude, you probably don't want that community in Oakland... Except race, you don't have much in common with these people. East coast has way more and better communities.