Weโve been together for a few months now, and things have been going great. But as we started spending more time together and going out more often, the topic of finances naturally came up. I thought it was time we had the "adult" conversation about sharing expenses. I mean, in this day and age, itโs pretty normal, right? But letโs just say her reaction was not what I expected at all. She got super defensive and seemed really upset and even talked about how she wanted to be "SPOILED". I thought we were on the same page about most things, but apparently, this hit a nerve. Now Iโm left wondering if I approached it wrong or if maybe we just have different views on money and relationships. And honestly, Iโm starting to question if this relationship is right for me. Do you think it's time to just part ways with her? I'm almost at that point tho...
Wifey material would want to meet financial goals together. If she wants to be spoiled, tell her to get a sugar daddy. Also the fact that you have to talk about splitting bills means sheโs not actively participating in an equitable relationship. Iโve never had to had this talk with my now Wife and been married 3 years now
Are you getting enough ๐ฑ?
Time to bang her friend and move on
Imagine this continues for years. Are you excited about that lifestyle?
Youโre just renting it OP and rent is always due in full.
Is renting better than buying?
For me, itโs best to rent for free. Which is why I date a girl who is smart enough to afford her own things in life
This happened to me. She came over all the time. Then started staying the night. Then became live-in GF. Tried to have the convo, and she also got defensive. Said she was not making impact on expenses (but she was). Water use went up, she was on my wifi all the time and had a torrent in the background that downloaded and seeded bootleg stuff (and I got a notice from AT&T that I was in violation) and my energy bill went up. She even clogged the drain in the tub and had to call a plumber. No one else had that long hair! Sorry baby, this is on you (she laughed it off). Never got her to pay up. ๐ but we ended up getting married last year ๐
Journey of sugar baby to wife
So what's your point? If we let them spoil, then they continue to do so. As a woman, I've always wanted to be responsible for my share or more, and I feel empowered. As I've observed, such mindsets sustain only because the other is ever willing to compromise and continues to encourage or support it.
Bad fit. I have to argue with my partner to let me pay >50% bills.
the funny thing is i want to spoil someone that doesnโt want to be spoiled lol
It's a character issue.
Exactly- the fun is in doing it when they donโt need/ beg for it. If this woman just expects free shit then thatโs not fun at all.
Leave asap. I think you did the right thing, and the girl is immature. She will either drain all your money or expect to stay home and sleep all day in future.
Are you living together? If not then that conversation was premature IMO
Hard disagree. Have that convo before you start living together
But is that the context in which this finance discussion came up? Or is he tired of always maying when they go out? The distinction matters. Marriage TC: 22 years and financially (and otherwise) harmonious the whole time ๐